getting personal(s) ... part 1
So i posted Contemplating Craigs, and then i wrote a bit about the personals thing, and teased just a little. I know there are probably a few curious kittens out there just wondering how that's all going.
First off, i kinda talked myself out of the Craig's List idea, but for valid reasons. I wasn't sure which section i should put the listing in : just friends, men seeking women, or casual encounters. Okay, really i never considered the last section, but i probably should have. Was i hoping for a friendly dinner? a long distance relationship? or a casual hookup with a concert as excuse? I'm not really interested in a one-night fling, concert or not. But i would want to go with someone that i really liked, and hopefully even have it turn romantic. The killer here for me was that i was going to post in a different region. Why would i want a long distance romance anyway? Either it's a pain in the ass, or i'd just be doing it so that the person is always at a safe distance.
Maybe i was over-thinking it, but that's what i made of it. I guess i realized that if i'm gonna go looking for someone, i might as well be serious and make it someone local that i could really get to know. And hopefully that person and i will get along so well that she'll go with me to the concert as well. Just a totally different connection with someone than a casual or friendly encounter that's just about the concert. And more like what i'd really want in my life right now.
I put up a profile on Yahoo Personals, basically just looking for new friends and experiences. Actually that was originally my headline, but it kinda sounded like i was just looking for sex so i changed it. I picked Yahoo after looking around a bit, because they just had more active people from my area. I think my basic search comes up with 90 people within 50 miles that have been active in the last 2 or 3 months. Later i learned that Yahoo has the biggest online personals site right now.
Posting a profile is very bizarre, and tends to teach you more about yourself and what you're looking for than you might be ready to learn. Is smoking occasionally okay? Drinking regularly? Do you want more kids? How important are religion and politics. It took me hours to really get my profile to where i wanted it. I even posted a crappy camera phone picture that i took of myself in the mirror. Might as well do it up right, right? I know that doesn't sound like such a big deal (i was wearing my shirt after all ;-) but some may notice that i always have my face obscured in online headshots. Just not looking to be known, at least until now.
Profile posted, i went looking at others. You can save profiles of people that you find, which i did, and i sent 1 or 2 messages to people that i was interested in. And then waited for responses. And kept checking. Hmmm... "no new messages". That bit's kind of depressing. The empty inbox always sucks, but the personals thing just makes it worse. I did get a message from one person fairly quickly, but she stated right up front that she wasn't interested in separated guys. Ya... can't say i blame her really. But she wanted to hear my story anyway, so we've been sending mail back and forth and chatting. For privacy purposes we'll call her Ms. Extrovert. Other than her, i didn't get much of anything from anyone for at least the first week. The first woman i was really interested in never responded to my message, so i gave her some time and then tried again. I didn't feel right going after lots of women at the same time (just felt sleazy), so i wanted to hear back from her before i pursued others. After the second message, she deleted her profile! oh man, how depressing is that? But the optimistic side of me hopes she found true love some other way and didn't want the distraction of the personals site anymore.
I could write a whole post just about Ms. Extrovert. Not because i've slept with her or anything, but because i'm not really interested even though she is. The chemistry just doesn't seem to be there for me. She started out as just being a helpful friend that showed me the ropes of the personals world. But she gets flirty and has wanted to meet in real life as well. To put it bluntly, i know i could probably have sex with her, but i'm really not interested. In some ways it's been nice to learn that i'm not oh-so-desperate for that kind of lovin. She asked me out on a day that i was busy and we haven't gotten back around to finding a better time. Mostly i don't want to meet her because i don't want her to get the impression that i'm interested. But how can i not be that interested if i haven't even really met her? Maybe it's just a hunch.
This will have to be part 1 of a multi-part post. Let's just say i have someone to meet in a little while and i have to get ready. See, doesn't that just leave you wanting part 2 even more? :-)
more later.
.
First off, i kinda talked myself out of the Craig's List idea, but for valid reasons. I wasn't sure which section i should put the listing in : just friends, men seeking women, or casual encounters. Okay, really i never considered the last section, but i probably should have. Was i hoping for a friendly dinner? a long distance relationship? or a casual hookup with a concert as excuse? I'm not really interested in a one-night fling, concert or not. But i would want to go with someone that i really liked, and hopefully even have it turn romantic. The killer here for me was that i was going to post in a different region. Why would i want a long distance romance anyway? Either it's a pain in the ass, or i'd just be doing it so that the person is always at a safe distance.
Maybe i was over-thinking it, but that's what i made of it. I guess i realized that if i'm gonna go looking for someone, i might as well be serious and make it someone local that i could really get to know. And hopefully that person and i will get along so well that she'll go with me to the concert as well. Just a totally different connection with someone than a casual or friendly encounter that's just about the concert. And more like what i'd really want in my life right now.
I put up a profile on Yahoo Personals, basically just looking for new friends and experiences. Actually that was originally my headline, but it kinda sounded like i was just looking for sex so i changed it. I picked Yahoo after looking around a bit, because they just had more active people from my area. I think my basic search comes up with 90 people within 50 miles that have been active in the last 2 or 3 months. Later i learned that Yahoo has the biggest online personals site right now.
Posting a profile is very bizarre, and tends to teach you more about yourself and what you're looking for than you might be ready to learn. Is smoking occasionally okay? Drinking regularly? Do you want more kids? How important are religion and politics. It took me hours to really get my profile to where i wanted it. I even posted a crappy camera phone picture that i took of myself in the mirror. Might as well do it up right, right? I know that doesn't sound like such a big deal (i was wearing my shirt after all ;-) but some may notice that i always have my face obscured in online headshots. Just not looking to be known, at least until now.
Profile posted, i went looking at others. You can save profiles of people that you find, which i did, and i sent 1 or 2 messages to people that i was interested in. And then waited for responses. And kept checking. Hmmm... "no new messages". That bit's kind of depressing. The empty inbox always sucks, but the personals thing just makes it worse. I did get a message from one person fairly quickly, but she stated right up front that she wasn't interested in separated guys. Ya... can't say i blame her really. But she wanted to hear my story anyway, so we've been sending mail back and forth and chatting. For privacy purposes we'll call her Ms. Extrovert. Other than her, i didn't get much of anything from anyone for at least the first week. The first woman i was really interested in never responded to my message, so i gave her some time and then tried again. I didn't feel right going after lots of women at the same time (just felt sleazy), so i wanted to hear back from her before i pursued others. After the second message, she deleted her profile! oh man, how depressing is that? But the optimistic side of me hopes she found true love some other way and didn't want the distraction of the personals site anymore.
I could write a whole post just about Ms. Extrovert. Not because i've slept with her or anything, but because i'm not really interested even though she is. The chemistry just doesn't seem to be there for me. She started out as just being a helpful friend that showed me the ropes of the personals world. But she gets flirty and has wanted to meet in real life as well. To put it bluntly, i know i could probably have sex with her, but i'm really not interested. In some ways it's been nice to learn that i'm not oh-so-desperate for that kind of lovin. She asked me out on a day that i was busy and we haven't gotten back around to finding a better time. Mostly i don't want to meet her because i don't want her to get the impression that i'm interested. But how can i not be that interested if i haven't even really met her? Maybe it's just a hunch.
This will have to be part 1 of a multi-part post. Let's just say i have someone to meet in a little while and i have to get ready. See, doesn't that just leave you wanting part 2 even more? :-)
more later.
.
posted by joe @ 5:32 PM
2 comments
ohhh really!
kudos for you
So where is the link to the Yahoo ad? Did I miss it somewhere?
I met my sweetie on line. I responded to an ad that made me laugh. Humor and one who would regularly change their photos to show themselves in interesting places caught my eye.
You standing in front of the artwork at the cafe might be fetching.