getting personal(s) ... epilogue
There were a few other miscellaneous ends to the personals story, so i should probably spit them out of my head now before they disappear completely.
When it comes to the searching part, the song remains the same, and i don't expect the tempo to become more upbeat anytime soon. I take a look around every few days, and eventually contact one or two people, and then wait forever for the reply that isn't coming. It's a bit depressing. I guess i'm not the only one - Ms. Q says she does the same and is depressed by it as well.
Speaking of Ms. Q, there's still something there. She wasn't lying when she said she wanted to stay friends. Of course it's a complete cliché, but we email each other about once a day anyway, to hell with trite clichés. I'm still patiently waiting for that second non-date to occur. Maybe sometime next week.
I still haven't emailed Ms Guarded back yet. I know i probably should, just not sure what exactly to say after a week of trying to figure out if it's worth it.
Ms Extrovert and I don't chat or email as much anymore. I'm okay with that, but it bothers her. She even brought it up in chat a few days ago - why don't we talk as much anymore? Ummm... because i have other people that i talk to now, in addition to you? No good answer there i guess. I don't ignore her when she tries to chat with me, but i'm not nearly as outgoing with her as i used to be.
I don't have too many pictures of myself, so i posted one a few weeks ago that had me posing with my kids. I wondered if it was a good idea to drag the kids into this, but it's suggested in most places on the site, since they are a huge part of your life. Within a few hours of it going online i received a request from my estranged to remove it. I didn't realize she was keeping such close tabs on my profile. No big deal, so i removed it, but still it seemed a little odd.
The original point of the personals ad was an extension of Contemplating Craigs, to find someone to take to the Ben Folds / Rufus Wainwright concert. Since i couldn't find anyone locally to take with me, i ended up going back to Craig's List a few days before the concert, looking for someone. I was surprised at home many people there were posting in the personals section for the Bay Area. And the tone is so much different... mostly people looking for a quick date tonight. Just so much different than i'm used to. And of course there are 5 times as many men looking for women as there are women looking for men. Some have husbands that just went out of town, others have a new hottub that needs another occupant. I'm not trying to judge any of this, it was just so much different from the online personals experience that i was used to. I found a few that i liked, including one with the sarcastic headline of Newly divorced single mom seeks Rebound, and emailed a few people with the offer of a freebie concert. Unfortunately i never heard back from any of them. I posted an ad looking for a companion for the concert but that listing got buried underneath the myriad other horny guys looking for lovin.
In the end, i took my son with me, and it was a great concert. We both had a blast, had some great time together, made some lasting memories. My estranged was offered the chance to go, but her school and work schedule wouldn't really allow it. She even remarked that she was glad that i was taking our son, that she couldn't have picked a better date for me. Ya, thanks for that. Truthfully, it's a good thing that i didn't take anyone that was supposed to be platonic, because the nice cool evening, and wonderful views of the valley, and general atmosphere of the venue/winery just made me feel like snuggling.
I'm still doing the personals thing, but i'm not sure how well it will work in the long run. Better than going to a bar, but not as good as meeting someone thru friends. I'll continue the story if it needs to be, but i can't guarantee anything. Next chapter should be about a juicy little rendezvous in a bar, so stay tuned.
.
When it comes to the searching part, the song remains the same, and i don't expect the tempo to become more upbeat anytime soon. I take a look around every few days, and eventually contact one or two people, and then wait forever for the reply that isn't coming. It's a bit depressing. I guess i'm not the only one - Ms. Q says she does the same and is depressed by it as well.
Speaking of Ms. Q, there's still something there. She wasn't lying when she said she wanted to stay friends. Of course it's a complete cliché, but we email each other about once a day anyway, to hell with trite clichés. I'm still patiently waiting for that second non-date to occur. Maybe sometime next week.
I still haven't emailed Ms Guarded back yet. I know i probably should, just not sure what exactly to say after a week of trying to figure out if it's worth it.
Ms Extrovert and I don't chat or email as much anymore. I'm okay with that, but it bothers her. She even brought it up in chat a few days ago - why don't we talk as much anymore? Ummm... because i have other people that i talk to now, in addition to you? No good answer there i guess. I don't ignore her when she tries to chat with me, but i'm not nearly as outgoing with her as i used to be.
I don't have too many pictures of myself, so i posted one a few weeks ago that had me posing with my kids. I wondered if it was a good idea to drag the kids into this, but it's suggested in most places on the site, since they are a huge part of your life. Within a few hours of it going online i received a request from my estranged to remove it. I didn't realize she was keeping such close tabs on my profile. No big deal, so i removed it, but still it seemed a little odd.
The original point of the personals ad was an extension of Contemplating Craigs, to find someone to take to the Ben Folds / Rufus Wainwright concert. Since i couldn't find anyone locally to take with me, i ended up going back to Craig's List a few days before the concert, looking for someone. I was surprised at home many people there were posting in the personals section for the Bay Area. And the tone is so much different... mostly people looking for a quick date tonight. Just so much different than i'm used to. And of course there are 5 times as many men looking for women as there are women looking for men. Some have husbands that just went out of town, others have a new hottub that needs another occupant. I'm not trying to judge any of this, it was just so much different from the online personals experience that i was used to. I found a few that i liked, including one with the sarcastic headline of Newly divorced single mom seeks Rebound, and emailed a few people with the offer of a freebie concert. Unfortunately i never heard back from any of them. I posted an ad looking for a companion for the concert but that listing got buried underneath the myriad other horny guys looking for lovin.
In the end, i took my son with me, and it was a great concert. We both had a blast, had some great time together, made some lasting memories. My estranged was offered the chance to go, but her school and work schedule wouldn't really allow it. She even remarked that she was glad that i was taking our son, that she couldn't have picked a better date for me. Ya, thanks for that. Truthfully, it's a good thing that i didn't take anyone that was supposed to be platonic, because the nice cool evening, and wonderful views of the valley, and general atmosphere of the venue/winery just made me feel like snuggling.
I'm still doing the personals thing, but i'm not sure how well it will work in the long run. Better than going to a bar, but not as good as meeting someone thru friends. I'll continue the story if it needs to be, but i can't guarantee anything. Next chapter should be about a juicy little rendezvous in a bar, so stay tuned.
.
posted by joe @ 2:39 PM
1 comments
Okay, here's two more cents from the peanut gallery. :) From a female perspective, I'm guessing that the lack of responses to the few contacts you've sent out are likely due to the "separated" status. Of course this is the honest answer (and I don't think you should change it), but at least that isn't about you, it's just about your current situation, which will change eventually. (To me, this would be less depressing.) :) Now here's my other two cents: I like all your pictures, but I like the cell phone picture the best. The other two are mysterious, but in the personals arena it may be interpreted as...uh...too mysterious...like you feel you have something to hide. What I think would look great is a photo of you (maybe with your bike?) in that beautiful park that you ride through. I don't even think it necessarily needs to be a close-up shot (thus preserving some anonymity)...but it might show a little bit more of "who you are", and make it easier for someone to visualize themselves in the park or out on a bike ride with you. Actually, the more I think about it, I love the photo of you with your cat too...and a little mystery is a good thing. That might give the perfect balance, one close-up (cell phone pic), one mysterious, and one more of you facing the camera in your natural habitat. :) Just me thinking what my first impressions would be if I had just stumbled across your profile. You've got the goods, you just need to flaunt it a little. ;)
Oh, and regarding your estranged keeping tabs on your profile...yikes! As a mom, I suppose I can understand her hesitation with the kids photo being posted, but I imagine it also reminds her that someday there may be someone else in that photo with you and your kids. No matter what the circumstances were of the split, I'm sure she's not looking forward to that day.