Although i'm sure it's nothing new, last week i noticed how much i like to savor. It was a simple, beautiful situation moving at a nice leisurely pace, and i willfully decided to slow it down even more. Stopping to admire the flowers, if you will. Take a look around, and i notice plenty of other places where i do the same....

• good writing : i don't read enough, but every once in awhile i'll fall in love with a good book (or blog or whatever ;-), and then deliberately take my time reading it. I think most people find themselves in that situation and spend hours and hours until they finish. Personally, that always seems sad to me because once it's done, it's done. I think Kerouac's On the Road was first book that i ever noticed myself doing this with. After a summer traveling across the country to California, i found myself a freshman in college, working the swing shift in a quiet server room. You can breeze through Kerouac, but i kept myself to one or two chapters at a time just to make it last. When i was done with it I read Dharma Bums, but it just wasn't the same. Like when you wake up from a dream that you're really enjoying, then try to go back to sleep and force yourself to continue the same dream. Just doesn't work that way.
• candy : my first job out of college was doing graphic design/layout work for a local used car newspaper, Wheels & Deals. I worked as an intern during the day at one job, and then did a swing shift 3 or 4 nights a week tweaking starburst ads and pictures of cars. It was drudgery and definitely not what i expected to be doing after graduating from USC, but the people i worked with were okay and we made the best of it. To help pass the time i'd usually get a bag of Skittles or M&Ms or Reese's on my break. Then as we passed midnight and headed towards 2am, i would line up the candies, grouped by color, and pick them off in order. If i start with too many of one color,then i have to eat those until everything is even. And then of course do each color in order, saving the favorite one (usually red) for last. I still do it, usually not even consciously. If you stand behind me, it looks obsessive compulsive, and there's probably a little bit of that in it. For me though it's just a way to stretch it out, pass the time, and savor each individual flavor. Besides, no one wants to be stuck with all brown M&Ms in the end.
• new friends : there's a point in a relationship where you realize you're done knowing someone because you've heard all of their stories and they aren't planning on making any new ones anytime soon. It's a little sad. Antithetically, there's a wonderful point at the beginning of a relationship where you're just starting to hear all of those stories, and to share your own. I love that point. Not just because it's all new and exciting, but because you go through your day thinking of that person and their stories in your head, and looking forward to getting to know them a bit more, each and every time.
• music : There are pop songs that i'll listen to over and over again, mindlessly, like chugging down a Big Gulp on a hot Saturday afternoon. And then there are those songs that i listen to and hear repeated in my head later (but not in a bad way), and then listen again for parts that i missed. Like sipping a cup of tea, and i set it down and wait a bit to let it settle before picking it up again. Looking through my last.fm tracks, i can see a few of them in there (Say Yes, Such Great Heights) and suddenly i want to go find them and listen again.
• coffee/tea : speaking of the sip... i noticed how much coffee was about the process for me, when i quit caffeine, but kept drinking crappy decaf coffee. It wasn't about the buzz, or the flavor (usually not very good). It was the time spent preparing the cup, stirring, savoring that little step out of reality for a minute.
  
• women : i'm completely smitten with women. all women. some might consider it an affliction, but i revel in it, even when it drives me to distraction. I guess i find women to be similar to movies: every movie, even the worst no-budget crap, has at least one thing that makes it worth watching. Sometimes it's a single scene, or a line, or a joke, or one perfect camera angle. It's enough for me to go through the whole movie, looking for that one thing. Women are better. Even the ones that are not so good (for you), still have something worth sticking around for, and savoring. And then I meet one that just ruins me for awhile. I go under that spell and find it so hard to pull away. And if you don't know me well enough by now, it's not (all) about the sex. As one lover remarked to me, "a guy that's just looking for sex doesn't admire the woman while she sleeps." how true.

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2 Comments:

At 7/12/2006 5:37 AM,  Lunafish said...

Well said. The bliss of being truly awake, deeper in the moment.
I, too, love the new part of friendships. It is like having a little crush, even if it is not a romantic relationship. (having one now with a new friend that I only see once every two weeks)
I was also thinking about though you and I are different in age, gender, geographic location, sexual orientation, etc. that a Big Gulp on a Saturday and a pop song could mean we are having the same experience at the same time.

 

At 7/12/2006 10:26 PM,  joe said...

Thanks Luna. I know it's not just me, but i think sometimes even the best of us forget to stop and savor. Maybe i should go ahead and get my it's not a race bumpersticker mass-produced.

And yea, we're completely different but so very much the same. Glad to share in that diversity with you.

 

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