dual identities
when i was in junior high, i noticed that i had more than one identity, or personality, that i would share with people. and it wasn't a gradual understanding, it was more like one moment where i stepped back and made the realization. the person i was with my friends was a different person than who i was to teachers, and more importantly, to my parents. the part that really struck me, was that i realized this, gave it some thought, and decided that that was just the way it should be. i was the good son, and excellent student, and all-around perfect in the eyes of most adults in my life. there was no reason to let them in on the fact that this was just a cover for the smart-ass punk that i was with my friends.
this came to mind recently, as i notice that my online personality has a similar split. there's the official me online [name withheld], and then there's jojoware. actually, there have been a few over the years... jerry roo, just_a_blog... just to name a few; jojoware is just the latest incarnation.
my self-justification is the professional angle... i don't want a possible future employer or client looking into [name withheld] only to run into the wacky adventures of jojoware. this is too easy an excuse though.
i guess the part that has me wondering, is that i notice that i try to keep the two separate. and let's just be honest, it's because there are certain people that know the one personality, that i'd just rather keep away from the other. most significantly, my estranged. it's not that she doesn't know those parts of me, just that i don't think she knows all they've been saying or doing lately. it's a Catch-22 though. i don't feel that close to her because she doesn't know everything about me. I don't tell her everything because i don't feel close to her. Actually, i won't take all of the blame for that one... she doesn't even share the most basic pieces of herself, much less the underneath.
ok, i'm rambling now. Guess i'll just keep the two separate and stop worrying about it.
this came to mind recently, as i notice that my online personality has a similar split. there's the official me online [name withheld], and then there's jojoware. actually, there have been a few over the years... jerry roo, just_a_blog... just to name a few; jojoware is just the latest incarnation.
my self-justification is the professional angle... i don't want a possible future employer or client looking into [name withheld] only to run into the wacky adventures of jojoware. this is too easy an excuse though.
i guess the part that has me wondering, is that i notice that i try to keep the two separate. and let's just be honest, it's because there are certain people that know the one personality, that i'd just rather keep away from the other. most significantly, my estranged. it's not that she doesn't know those parts of me, just that i don't think she knows all they've been saying or doing lately. it's a Catch-22 though. i don't feel that close to her because she doesn't know everything about me. I don't tell her everything because i don't feel close to her. Actually, i won't take all of the blame for that one... she doesn't even share the most basic pieces of herself, much less the underneath.
ok, i'm rambling now. Guess i'll just keep the two separate and stop worrying about it.
And we're doing fine now yeah we do
We don't feel sad or bad or blue and you know
We ain't never defeated
-- Daybreaker, Beth Orton
We don't feel sad or bad or blue and you know
We ain't never defeated
-- Daybreaker, Beth Orton
i like the pink better.
i don't know, i'm quite partial to green. but really it's the design of this template that i like so much more than the pink one. Maybe i should play with the colors on this and see if i can get a decent pink/purple thing goin.