shaved
this weekend, while i was far too intoxicated at a point too early in the evening, i let my friend Jodi shave my head. i haven't had my head shaved since i was in fourth grade. A few weeks ago we had a little get-together at Brian's house which eventually devolved into a head-shave party, where almost every male in attendance got his head shaved nice and close. I abstained. I like my curls and my crazy and just the way it is what it is. Shaved heads almost always look like a certain thing, which doesn't feel like me. Half the time they're for guys that are trying to hide that they're balding. The other half of the time they're macho guys that want to feel like they're in boot camp. I'm neither.
Actually i quite like the feel. I keep forgetting that it's done and then find myself rubbing my own head. Maybe it's for luck.
Jodi was excited about shaving my head, as Brian explained to me. It seems that she doesn't like my usual hairstyle at all, complaining that it makes me look like a little boy. He even told me that she confessed that at one point she was caught off guard and for the first time found me almost attractive, when i was wearing my silly wool golf/cabbie hat backwards, hiding all of my hair. Something about it showing my face more, minimizing the boyish hair. I like wearing that hat but I always think it makes me look like i'm trying to be young. One time when i was wearing it someone mistook me for Skyelar's older brother, so i know it's silly.
Jodi was excited to see what i would look like shaved, and i was drunk, and for whatever reason there were electric shears at this particular BBQ as well, so i sat and let her do it. I'd already decided I'd have it shaved for Burning Man anyways, mostly for comfort and ease in the heat and dirt, but also so i could shed a little more of my usual identity for that week at least.
And this is what I ended up looking like:
Just for good measure, i included the fourth grade version as well. i think my head shape has improved significantly.
Jodi's reason for wanting my head shaved was the part that stuck with me. She said that it made me look like a boy. Then there was an accompanying story that basically illustrated that even when a woman finds all other parts of a man attractive, if they don't look like they can protect them, like a man, then the woman ultimately won't be attracted to him. In Jodi's mind, this is the reason I'm single, why i'm not out getting laid. A woman needs to see me and know that when shit goes down, i'll be there by their side and will protect them at all cost.
And that's where it dug in. At first i defended myself in my head, how far i'd go to stand by and protect my woman. And then i wondered if I'd ever really proven that or followed through. I know I have, and then there are times where i have not.
I don't really think the shaved head makes me look more manly, more protective. If anything, it feels the opposite to me, like i'm a kid again. Kids get their heads shaved because it's cheap and easy for single moms. Men have style and substance and a head of hair that they've come to know and respect. I don't like how conservative and reserved the shaved head is. There's no flow, nothing to grab on to, no wild and determined waves to go whichever way they please. I'll keep it like this for a little while, but ultimately I want life and liberty and a thick mane.
Actually i quite like the feel. I keep forgetting that it's done and then find myself rubbing my own head. Maybe it's for luck.
Jodi was excited about shaving my head, as Brian explained to me. It seems that she doesn't like my usual hairstyle at all, complaining that it makes me look like a little boy. He even told me that she confessed that at one point she was caught off guard and for the first time found me almost attractive, when i was wearing my silly wool golf/cabbie hat backwards, hiding all of my hair. Something about it showing my face more, minimizing the boyish hair. I like wearing that hat but I always think it makes me look like i'm trying to be young. One time when i was wearing it someone mistook me for Skyelar's older brother, so i know it's silly.
Jodi was excited to see what i would look like shaved, and i was drunk, and for whatever reason there were electric shears at this particular BBQ as well, so i sat and let her do it. I'd already decided I'd have it shaved for Burning Man anyways, mostly for comfort and ease in the heat and dirt, but also so i could shed a little more of my usual identity for that week at least.
And this is what I ended up looking like:
Just for good measure, i included the fourth grade version as well. i think my head shape has improved significantly.
Jodi's reason for wanting my head shaved was the part that stuck with me. She said that it made me look like a boy. Then there was an accompanying story that basically illustrated that even when a woman finds all other parts of a man attractive, if they don't look like they can protect them, like a man, then the woman ultimately won't be attracted to him. In Jodi's mind, this is the reason I'm single, why i'm not out getting laid. A woman needs to see me and know that when shit goes down, i'll be there by their side and will protect them at all cost.
And that's where it dug in. At first i defended myself in my head, how far i'd go to stand by and protect my woman. And then i wondered if I'd ever really proven that or followed through. I know I have, and then there are times where i have not.
I don't really think the shaved head makes me look more manly, more protective. If anything, it feels the opposite to me, like i'm a kid again. Kids get their heads shaved because it's cheap and easy for single moms. Men have style and substance and a head of hair that they've come to know and respect. I don't like how conservative and reserved the shaved head is. There's no flow, nothing to grab on to, no wild and determined waves to go whichever way they please. I'll keep it like this for a little while, but ultimately I want life and liberty and a thick mane.
posted by joe @ 1:03 AM
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